A village of relationships that inspire potential.
What is obvious?
  • Your child is…
  • Not sleeping well
  • Not getting assignments finished at school
  • Losing friends
  • Getting in fights
  • Telling you to F___ off!
  • Not coming at night
  • Coming home drunk or high
These behaviours are obvious.  Why children activate these behaviours is not obvious.  They require looking beneath the surface.
In the past few years, these four authors have helped us look beyond the obvious:
1) Gordon Neufeld, PhD
Dr. Neufeld's approach uses the words "stuck" and "challenging behaviour" for the obvious.  He uses words like attachment, maturity, and vulnerability to help parents and caregivers look beyond the obvious.

Gordon's book Hold On To Your Kids: Why parents need to matter more than peers (co-authored with Gabor Maté, MD) has become an instant parenting classic.  It will help you see the broad panorama of developmental factors that relate to common childhood problems.

2) Gabor Maté, MD 
We already introduced Dr. Maté with the book he co-authored with Dr. Neufeld.  Check out three more of his ground-breaking works:  In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close encounters with addiction, Scattered Minds: The origins and healing of attention deficit disorder, and When The Body Says No: The cost of hidden stress.    

We are looking forward to hosting Dr. Maté at our inaugural 2015 Alberta Family Works Conference in Red Deer, October 27-28, 2015.

Watch his Ted Talk on the power of addiction below:
2) Ross Greene, PhD 
Ross Greene boldly announces on the Lives in the Balance website, "How you think about and treat behaviorally challenging kids is about to change for good!"

Despite the appearance of overkill, Dr. Greene's approach has been profound in our work at Heritage Family Services.  We require every one of our staff to view his DVD recorded seminar: Explosive, Noncompliant, Disruptive, Aggressive Kids: What works, what doesn't and how to turn it around.

He provides tons of free resources.  One of our favourites is the Bill of Rights for Behaviorally Challenging Kids.  It's a must read, must reflect on, must apply kind of document.
2) Jennifer Kolari, MSW, RSW 
Jennifer's CALM approach, an acronym for the simple mirroring steps that she recommends, provides a new framework for parents and caregivers to respond to their child's behavioural challenges.  She also provides valuable perspective on reinforcing boundaries without eroding self-esteem.

Her two hour presentation via TVO Parents is one of our team's most watched.  Check it out below:

    The Relationship Inspired Learning & Development Blog

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    March 2015